Wednesday, January 12, 2011
What started the rest of my life.
It all started in 2004. My best friend put some speakers up to my ears.
The band that played was called
...
Still Remains -
EP: If Love Was Born To Die (2004)
...
There was one song in particular that caught my eye. Not only was it performed
wonderfully for it's time, but the lyrics were incredibly deep to me at the time.
This is still by far my most favorite song.
...
I Can Revive Him With My Own Hands-
If love was this door, then I've slammed it in your face, ran out to the balcony and jumped to the ground. I've sponged the place in gasoline, before igniting the foundation and burning it to ashes. If love was a plane, then I've flown it to the highest point, only to have it come crashing down to the Earth. Fasten your seat belts, we're going down, we're going down now. If love was a child, then I've scolded him to no end. He's been filled with nothing inside. Until the day when bullets filled the emptiness inside him. From his own gun, from his own hands. Love became the pill that stopped his shakes. He's never crossed a man's face so hard. Love became the pill that put him under, he's never scratched a man's heart so deep. If love was born to die. Then I've buried him six feet under. If love was born to die then I've buried him six feet under. If love was a child, then I've scolded him to no end. He's been filled with nothing inside. Until the day when bullets filled the emptiness inside him. If you take the one and minus him by two, you've got the end of the world, before it's even begun. Although I've murdered his heart, I can revive him with my own two hands.
...
Over the years, there have been many more bands that caught my eye.
The older I get, the better they seem to get. Anyway, it will always be
a big part of my life, and is one of the few things that nobody can take
away from me. Nobody will ever take it from me.
...
"When the last grave has emptied,
When the last shred of hope melts away,
An endless swarm of damnation will swallow the last of humanity into black."
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
If I could ask you one question...
Had to go a little lazy on my blog, but it's a very special one. Dedicated to the best...
.
Over the last year, I have been thinking alot about a certain girl named Shawny. Although we've only been together for a couple months, we've had a very crazy past. I believe only we would understand what has happened.
.
Over the past year, I have always wanted to ask you some questions.
Just about every day, the questions I wanted to ask would change.
I only really have one question left for you.
...................
How does it feel to be my miracle?
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Then, there was you.
JOSH BERRY
In 2010, I made a promise.
Christmas started
I guess it started when I got your grandma that Ouija board.
She always talked about it and Christmas was coming up, so I
figured What the hell. At first you seemed fine, a little scared of it maybe.
Over the next couple weeks Ryan and I would try to get you to fuck with it,
you know, just a little fun in the dark, that's all. That's all I thought of it.
You didn't want too. It was the same answer every time. It never bothered me.
You were my best friend. I'd die for you. Every day you would say the same for me.
January ended
And after it did, shit started getting a little weird, didn't it?
A quick look back, it was actually around the best time of my life.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Shawny was always there.
You knew how happy she made me. You were always trying to help me
grow some balls and ask her out. I wanted too, but it seemed like she had other
plans. Now I know she didn't, and you're the reason I do.
February 8th
Was the day that changed my life forever.
I remember it so well. We were watching Cake Boss at one in the morning.
Not most people's choice, but that was who we were. Different.
Anyway, you were sitting on the couch, me in the red chair.
Then you turned the TV off.
Without saying a word, you started crying.
You were staring at me, tears in your eyes.
I asked what was wrong, and for a minute,
you wouldn't say anything. When you did,
you said "I need you to make me a few promises."
Of course I will. You were my BEST friend.
"If anything EVER happens to me, I want you too..."
"Make sure you watch over Ryan, make sure he stops drinking and getting into fights."
"Always protect Allison. It's our job, even if she doesn't really need it."
"Make sure you never give up on Skittles. I know you can do it, you know how to treat women. Also make sure she never hurts herself."
I just needed to write this. It's almost been a year. A whole year without you. Every day I think about you, and you get me through every day.
I miss you.
and
I love you.
and
I will never forget you.
She always talked about it and Christmas was coming up, so I
figured What the hell. At first you seemed fine, a little scared of it maybe.
Over the next couple weeks Ryan and I would try to get you to fuck with it,
you know, just a little fun in the dark, that's all. That's all I thought of it.
You didn't want too. It was the same answer every time. It never bothered me.
You were my best friend. I'd die for you. Every day you would say the same for me.
January ended
And after it did, shit started getting a little weird, didn't it?
A quick look back, it was actually around the best time of my life.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Shawny was always there.
You knew how happy she made me. You were always trying to help me
grow some balls and ask her out. I wanted too, but it seemed like she had other
plans. Now I know she didn't, and you're the reason I do.
February 8th
Was the day that changed my life forever.
I remember it so well. We were watching Cake Boss at one in the morning.
Not most people's choice, but that was who we were. Different.
Anyway, you were sitting on the couch, me in the red chair.
Then you turned the TV off.
Without saying a word, you started crying.
You were staring at me, tears in your eyes.
I asked what was wrong, and for a minute,
you wouldn't say anything. When you did,
you said "I need you to make me a few promises."
Of course I will. You were my BEST friend.
"If anything EVER happens to me, I want you too..."
"Make sure you watch over Ryan, make sure he stops drinking and getting into fights."
"Always protect Allison. It's our job, even if she doesn't really need it."
"Make sure you never give up on Skittles. I know you can do it, you know how to treat women. Also make sure she never hurts herself."
This is what you asked me to do. I told you I swear I would do every single one. I still had no idea why you were crying, telling me to do these things at two in the morning. You never did me wrong, I had no reason to think you were crazy. The next day, Ryan came over. Neither of us mentioned the night before. Ryan actually noticed how weird you were acting. You asked him if he had a pipe, and he said no, so you gave him your only one. You started giving away all of your stuff. YOU KNEW something was going to happen. I asked about it after Luke came over, and all anybody would tell me was that you and Luke were fucking with the board I got your grandma. The day after I figured that out, I was sleeping at my house for the first time in forever, only to wake up to a phone call that you were dead. Gone forever.
You knew exactly what you were talking about. When you left, I decided to do everything you told me to do "when you were gone." It's been just a little under a year now.
Ryan stopped drinking and fighting. I know, WHO THE FUCK would believe that without seeing it for themselves, right? Ha, it's true.
Allison doesn't go a day without my protection. We talk about everything. We have never been this close, and I think it's going to last for the rest of our lives.
Shawny. You told me to NEVER give up on her. I never did. I had to be patient, but after eleven months, you were right. She means everything to me. Everything I have left.
You knew exactly what you were talking about. When you left, I decided to do everything you told me to do "when you were gone." It's been just a little under a year now.
Ryan stopped drinking and fighting. I know, WHO THE FUCK would believe that without seeing it for themselves, right? Ha, it's true.
Allison doesn't go a day without my protection. We talk about everything. We have never been this close, and I think it's going to last for the rest of our lives.
Shawny. You told me to NEVER give up on her. I never did. I had to be patient, but after eleven months, you were right. She means everything to me. Everything I have left.
I just needed to write this. It's almost been a year. A whole year without you. Every day I think about you, and you get me through every day.
I miss you.
and
I love you.
and
I will never forget you.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Killer Unknown
The basement incinerator
Is where they'll put the head
Hose the floor and clean the room
Anywhere they bled
Into boxes go the bags
Fill the space with rocks
In the dark of night
He throws them off the docks
Rotting in the river
Never to be found
Under tons of concrete
Deep beneath the ground
From behind he grabs his mouth
The blade goes to his neck
Bulging veins pumping blood
He struggles to protect
The killer chops the body
With a scalpel and an ax
The parts are then drained
And put into the sacks
If you don't cut open the stomach
The corpse will rise and float
The victim is discovered dead
Rotting organs bloat
Chunks of a skull
Sawn in half bones
Body is found
Killer unknown
Is where they'll put the head
Hose the floor and clean the room
Anywhere they bled
Into boxes go the bags
Fill the space with rocks
In the dark of night
He throws them off the docks
Rotting in the river
Never to be found
Under tons of concrete
Deep beneath the ground
From behind he grabs his mouth
The blade goes to his neck
Bulging veins pumping blood
He struggles to protect
The killer chops the body
With a scalpel and an ax
The parts are then drained
And put into the sacks
If you don't cut open the stomach
The corpse will rise and float
The victim is discovered dead
Rotting organs bloat
Chunks of a skull
Sawn in half bones
Body is found
Killer unknown
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