Then, there was you.

JOSH BERRY
In 2010, I made a promise.

In the end, you were right. You were always right. If anybody knew what we went through together, they'd be crying right now, and I haven't said a word. We had plans, and you know what? I think we still do. Anyway, don't you think it's time someone should know about what we have gone through? You changed the way I think about the world, every single aspect of it, every single day.

Christmas started

I guess it started when I got your grandma that Ouija board.
She always talked about it and Christmas was coming up, so I
figured What the hell. At first you seemed fine, a little scared of it maybe.
Over the next couple weeks Ryan and I would try to get you to fuck with it,
you know, just a little fun in the dark, that's all. That's all I thought of it.
You didn't want too. It was the same answer every time. It never bothered me.
You were my best friend. I'd die for you. Every day you would say the same for me.

January ended
And after it did, shit started getting a little weird, didn't it?
A quick look back, it was actually around the best time of my life.
I remember it like it was yesterday. Shawny was always there.
You knew how happy she made me. You were always trying to help me
grow some balls and ask her out. I wanted too, but it seemed like she had other
plans. Now I know she didn't, and you're the reason I do.

February 8th
Was the day that changed my life forever.
I remember it so well. We were watching Cake Boss at one in the morning.
Not most people's choice, but that was who we were. Different.
Anyway, you were sitting on the couch, me in the red chair.
Then you turned the TV off.
Without saying a word, you started crying.
You were staring at me, tears in your eyes.
I asked what was wrong, and for a minute,
you wouldn't say anything. When you did,
you said "I need you to make me a few promises."
Of course I will. You were my BEST friend.



"If anything EVER happens to me, I want you too..."

"Make sure you watch over Ryan, make sure he stops drinking and getting into fights."

"Always protect Allison. It's our job, even if she doesn't really need it."

"Make sure you never give up on Skittles. I know you can do it, you know how to treat women. Also make sure she never hurts herself."

This is what you asked me to do. I told you I swear I would do every single one. I still had no idea why you were crying, telling me to do these things at two in the morning. You never did me wrong, I had no reason to think you were crazy. The next day, Ryan came over. Neither of us mentioned the night before. Ryan actually noticed how weird you were acting. You asked him if he had a pipe, and he said no, so you gave him your only one. You started giving away all of your stuff. YOU KNEW something was going to happen. I asked about it after Luke came over, and all anybody would tell me was that you and Luke were fucking with the board I got your grandma. The day after I figured that out, I was sleeping at my house for the first time in forever, only to wake up to a phone call that you were dead. Gone forever.

You knew exactly what you were talking about. When you left, I decided to do everything you told me to do "when you were gone." It's been just a little under a year now.

Ryan stopped drinking and fighting. I know, WHO THE FUCK would believe that without seeing it for themselves, right? Ha, it's true.

Allison doesn't go a day without my protection. We talk about everything. We have never been this close, and I think it's going to last for the rest of our lives.

Shawny. You told me to NEVER give up on her. I never did. I had to be patient, but after eleven months, you were right. She means everything to me. Everything I have left.

I just needed to write this. It's almost been a year. A whole year without you. Every day I think about you, and you get me through every day.

I miss you.
and
I love you.
and
I will never forget you.